Trials

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.” I Corinthians 10:13

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” I Peter 4:12

Pen Pals are still a thing in prison. Many inmates are lonely, in need of a friend. Who better than another inmate in the same boat? Inmates are very creative in their methods to locate a new friend. One method is to ask someone you are writing to already, “Hey, my roommate needs a pen pal, too. Do you know of anyone else in your prison who’d like to write?” Often the person will provide a list of everyone they know, without even asking those people if they’d like a pen pal, without even telling them they’re sharing this information. Another clever method is to subscribe to another prison’s newsletter. There one can find pictures of inmates along with their names, people playing sports, winning awards, graduating from classes. Inmate contributors are also pictured. This is a preferred method as you have a face with the name.

I often submitted artwork to Shakopee’s newsletter, The Reflector, so my parents (who subscribed) could see it. I also received unsolicited pen pal requests often. I never wrote back, often didn’t even read them. I remember one man who ended his letter with, “Even if you don’t want a pen pal, write me back to let me know!” I didn’t and I didn’t. I’d just received the newest copy of the newsletter. The last page featured my most recent drawings –my son Thomas and daughter Vivianne. I’d used pictures for inspiration, as I’d not seen my children in 3 years. I was determined to remain emotionally bonded with them, engaged in their lives regardless.

A new determination arose after a few years in prison. I’d noticed that while they grew up, I still imagined them as small children. This scared me. I began choosing photos of each and drawing them in fine detail, life-size portraits that took me hours to complete. I navigated through time, drawing portrait after portrait. After many drawings, I noticed something amazing! As I drew, I began to internalize their older ages. Now, when I imagined them, they were no longer the small children I’d left. They had begun to grow up for me.

I turned to the mail left on my desk, three letters. Two were from my parents; I set those aside. The third was from another inmate, a man at another Minnesota prison. I decided to read it. I don’t remember most of the contents, just a few things. He was serving 20 years of a 30 year sentence. His out date was in 2031. ‘Wow!’ I thought. ‘That’s 15 more years!’ He also stated near the end, “Oh by the way, I sent you a present.” ‘What does that mean?’ I wondered. An inmate cannot send another inmate anything. You can’t even mail drawings to an inmate. ‘Maybe his long sentence made him crazy,’ I thought. I threw the letter in the trash and headed out to get my canteen.

At the canteen window, I was in for a shock. A guard handed me a clear plastic bag, filled with my order. Opening the bag, I pulled out my receipt and an item. I hadn’t ordered it. Startled, I dug into the bag, stirring items around. Shocked, I realized there was at least $100 worth of stuff in my bag that I hadn’t ordered.

“What’s going on?” Brandi asked me, as I nervously stood beside her, waiting to leave canteen. I stood frozen, reviewing Corbyn’s letter in my mind. This must be the ‘present’ he’d mentioned!

Canteen orders were filled by inmates at a Minnesota men’s prison. It was not unheard of that a woman would connect with a pen pal who had this job, and she’d be rewarded in the friendship with bags of “extra” canteen. When I’d first heard of this, I wished for such a friend. Now that it had happened, I was horrified. Movement was announced and I raced back to Tubman, hauling my canteen. Quickly I signed in and headed straight for the trash can. Women stopped to stare at me as I began digging in the garbage can, looking for Corbyn’s letter. I needed to make sure he didn’t do this again! “What are you DOING?” Linda asked, concerned.

Reclaiming the letter from the garbage can, I stood and found everyone staring at me. Blushing, I headed for my room. Spreading my canteen across the bed I reviewed the order, which included sweatpants and shirts I hadn’t requested. I peeked at a label, sized XXL. ‘How cute,’ I decided, ‘he doesn’t see all women as Barbie dolls.’ That was something good about him I decided.

Pulling out pen and paper I sat to write…

“Dear Corbyn,

You are naughty! I got your letter and canteen. I assume this is your ‘present’ to me. Don’t do that again! You could get in trouble, and I could too. I am a Christian and the Bible says God gives us everything we need. I don’t know if you have a Bible so I will show you: “But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.” Matthew 6:33-35

God has been doing some amazing things in my life, and I need Him. I don’t want to ruin that by disobeying Him. Stealing is wrong. Here’s where you can get a free Bible and I hope you get it and read it so you can know this for yourself. Just so you know, I will not write to you again, and do not write to me, please. I only write to my children and family. I don’t want to hurt your feelings. I believe you just want a friend, so I will tell you I get pen pal requests often and have never written back to anyone before. You will be the first and last. I am also adding you to my prayer list.

Take care,

Holly”

I dutifully added Corbyn Bot to my prayer list and once again tossed his letter in the trash. I had no idea I’d “met” my future husband.