The Blook like a “Book” (posts oldest to newest)

  • WELCOME!

    A brief note or two for first time visitors. First, welcome! I’m so glad to see you! Are you in need of rescue? Here is my rescue story. I share it because I know it can be your story too! It is my prayer that every post lead you one step closer in your walk […]


  • BEFORE

    BEFORE

    Before my arrest at age 35 in 2010 I never thought about prison, jail, or the criminal justice system. Everything I “knew” I learned on TV. I really enjoyed news and drama programs (which did me no good at all). To my knowledge I had no friends who’d sat jail time. I had no idea…


  • JAIL

    JAIL

    I was arrested in March 2010. Again I heard the familiar questions, “What were you thinking? Why did you do that?” I had long believed myself to be the source of conflict in our family. Our family’s shared religious beliefs, strong convictions, and high expectations defined a good person. I was an unlikable failure who…


  • BAIL, SENTENCING, & PRISON INTAKE

    BAIL, SENTENCING, & PRISON INTAKE

    A year passed after I was first arrested in 2010 before I was sentenced and sent to prison. During this year I served 3 months in county jail, was released on bail, and had many court hearings. I passed the year in a mental fog, in such a haze I was even unaware I was…


  • ORIENTATION (CHANGE, SHOCK & AWE, SUICIDE WATCH)

    ORIENTATION (CHANGE, SHOCK & AWE, SUICIDE WATCH)

    I have said I was unaware previously that I needed to change. What does that mean? I believed myself to be a good person or at least a person who understood what good is, even if I lacked the ability to consistently and reliably perform it. I felt I had a good moral compass, even…


  • A PADDED ROOM (THE PICKLE SUIT)

    A PADDED ROOM (THE PICKLE SUIT)

    Suicide watch in Shakopee takes place in the facility’s segregation unit. While inmates are most often taken to seg for disciplinary reasons, suicide watch and health concerns are other reasons why segregation is also used for administrative detention. It was October, 2011. Seven months had slid by since my arrival at prison. Entering prison I…


  • WoW

    WoW

    In October 2011, as I waited to be released from seg, I received a kite (internal institutional mail) from the director of Shakopee’s Women of Wellness program (WoW). She invited me to participate in the six week “in-patient” mental health program. Already terminated from my job because of my disciplinary seg time I was eager…


  • General Assembly (Burning Rubber)

    General Assembly (Burning Rubber)

    It is November 2011. I finished the WoW program and became eligible for the workforce. Nervously I checked my mail daily, waiting for a job assignment. I’d been fired from my last job so I could not choose the next one. It would be assigned to me based on the needs of the prison. It…


  • RING TOSS & DOPPELGANGERS

    RING TOSS & DOPPELGANGERS

    I began my job in General Assembly the end of November 2011. Also called Rubber, it was housed in a large warehouse building shared by several educational and industry job opportunities. There were 2 main jobs – ring inspections and cutting rubber. Rings were actually gaskets needing quality control inspections. Cutting rubber involved trimming excess…


  • NO PIE & SIX MONTHS NO SHOWER

    NO PIE & SIX MONTHS NO SHOWER

    It was January 2012 and I worked in General Assembly inspecting gaskets at base pay, 50 cents an hour. PIE work, given out on seniority, paid – per hour. I set my sights on top pay and planned. I didn’t have long to wait. One afternoon prison guards entered, strolled through the room and halted […]