Introduction and Early Struggles

 📍  📍  📍  📍 I supplemented my income with selling a little bit of dope.   📍  📍  📍  📍  📍  📍  📍 the first time I heard the devil is when I told this guy,   📍  📍  📍 I'm done doing that. And he started crying. I never heard this dude cry before.

He's like, come on, just do it one more time, man.

  📍  📍 I'm getting goosebumps right now,   📍  📍  📍 that could have been the dope deal that landed me in jail.



  📍  📍 Drinking took a while. Drinking was the tough one.

  📍  📍 My sister was the first person I called. I said,  You're not going to believe what happened today. And she's crying.   📍  📍 July, it'll be five years since I've had a drink. One drink.

  📍  📍 Oh, thank you. Thank you, Jesus. All day.

  📍  📍 what's your attitude towards everything you went through? 

  📍  📍 you find the blessings even in the hard stuff.

  📍  📍  📍 

I just know it's been God's plan from the start.

  📍  📍 This is His story, and I want to glorify Him

  📍  📍  📍 That's where the growth is and that's where the life is and that's where the strength is

  📍  📍 He's going to be the one that's there for you when nobody else is.

  📍 ​

  

  

  

  

 

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

      📍 So, this is From Surviving to Living, the Spotlight Edition. And I'm here with Brady.  

Family Background and Upbringing

  📍 And we are going to be talking about the central question of how does our earthly fathers, our parents, uh, impact us and having a relationship with God, a relationship with Jesus, and especially in  your situation, Brady,  with addiction and other things that you had to wrestle with, what does that look like?

And so just going to start it over, or I'm just going to turn it over to you quickly and tell us who you are and where you're from.   

Thank you. Well, thanks for having me. First of all, I appreciate it. And, um, love to share stories of God's grace, redemption, forgiveness, all that good stuff. Um, my name is Brady Pask.

I was, um, born and raised St. Louis Park, Minnesota, just right in the burbs here. Um,  and I'm 42 years old. 

So  growing up, tell us a little bit about, um, your family situation, what that looked like. Cause it's a little different than many people have experienced. So, 

 when I was one year old, it was just,  excuse me, my, my mom had sex with a guy who was a lot younger than her and she got pregnant. And at the time she was living in a house in St. Louis Park, um, with my sister at the time who was about 10 years old and she'd gotten pregnant from having sex one time.

And my mom,  you know. Told the guy that she's having a baby and she just she decided that she's gonna have it with my sister  My sister said she'd be willing to help and all that stuff. So I just love my sis. She's like a second mom, but  So they had me and my it was just my mom and my sis and they were living in a house in st Louis Park that was pretty well surrounded by partying  but I was in that environment for about a year until my my my sisters um Um, she's actually my half sister because, you know, we have different dads, but then her dad came back into the picture and, um, decided to rekindle his relationship with my mom and, um, marry her and take this newborn baby boy.

He always wanted a son because all he had was girls. So he just wanted to, um,  You know, raise this baby boy, and that's what he did. And so, yeah. And 

you were one, so you have no memory of that. So then you were saying you thought he was dad. 

Yeah, yeah. It was kind of funny because he looked like kind of Hulk Hogan.

So he was bald, and he had the long blonde, bleach blonde hair because he's from Cali, and he was tan. And he was pretty muscular, you know, he had a tattoo. Yeah. So yeah, he kind of looked like Hulk Hogan. So I thought it was strange that he didn't look like me, but I never felt like I wasn't loved. Um, he loved me very much. 

You know, he, he was a hard worker and he always had a job and he always was working hard. And you know, we, it was our, our house was fun. It was, it was a lot of fun. 

And then did they have more children after they got back together? 

No. 

So it's just you and your sister at home 10 years apart.   📍 take us to the point where you find out that this is your stepdad.  

  📍 ​

  📍  my mom and my sister were in the kitchen crying.

   📍 they said, uh, well, Mark's not your biological dad. 

  📍 He cared for me. He showed me how to do things, taught me how to fish.

  📍 ​ I found out, I was, I remember, I went to school, I was in fourth grade,  I came home,  my mom and my sister were in the kitchen crying.

I was like, what's going on?  And they said, uh, well, Mark's not your biological dad. He's not your real dad. I was like, your dad is actually another guy, but,  Mark wants to adopt you as his own son. 

 Why were they crying?

Do you know?   

I think they were nervous about how it was going to react.  Or maybe, I don't, I don't, actually that's a good question. 

 How did you take it for real? 

 I just said, can I go outside and play? I just want to go out. Okay. I was like, that's cool. Like I'll let him adopt me. Now. Can I go outside and play?  Cause I felt loved. Like I knew like, yeah, he's my dad. No question about it.

He cared for me. He showed me how to do things, taught me how to fish. 

 How long did it take before you started asking questions about well, who is my biological dad 

  📍 you don't, can't do anything about it cause there's no way to get a hold of them, you know, or, you know, or what have you. So then that was just kind of like that lingering thing in the back. Like I have another sister out there. I didn't, I mean, they did say that she was still in the St.

Louis park area, but little to no find, I find out, you know, five, six, seven years later, they're literally two blocks down the street. 

Very close. Very 

close.  Scary close. 

  📍 ​

  📍 How did you end up at church?

  📍 when God started working on him, he wanted the same thing for me

  📍 I said,  You're not going to believe what happened today. And she's crying.

  📍 She's like, When I was at church today, I prayed that God would hit you. 

  📍 ​



 

 What, what was the, the addiction? Was it alcohol or was it drugs? 

Well, I mean, started smoking weed and then yeah, alcohol is the, was the killer. How 

old were you when any of that started?  

Well, I started smoking weed at 13. And it started out with friends at school, but then later kind of progressed to, because my parents got divorced, and so then I would smoke with my dad,  

and then I think I had my first drink when I was,  probably not too long after that. 

 Did your wife live, when you were dating, did she come from a similar party background, 

 no, she did not come from the party background. She came from a rebellious, you know, dad had her under, under the watchful eye and he was strict and stuff. So she, you know, wanted to rebel when she got older. 

 How did you end up at church? Was it a friend you said that invited you or was it your family? 

Yeah, so we were, we were, we were working on the car dealership and, um,  they put a, a, a guy next to me. We had an empty stall and they put a guy next to me.

And him and I became insta buddies. Like, no tomorrow, we had lots of similar interests and all that. And so, we partied and we just, we became best friends.  His dad later got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. And his dad had found, his dad had gone through a terrible divorce and ended up finding Christ and ended up finding healing and, you know, peace with the situation.

but then got diagnosed with cancer and was going to church. And so when that happened, it gave Anthony a chance to start spending more time with his dad and God started working on him. 

And 

when God started working on him, he wanted the same thing for me because he knew that we, you know, and so he started changing the stuff he listened to and he would invite me and I'd just kind of be like, no, I'm good.

And then one day he kind of pushed the envelope and he said, well, if you, you know, Sarah said she'd go, so she, sounds like she's coming this week, and so I was like, aw dude, come on, really?  And, uh, so when I went home later, you know, what I now know is the Holy Spirit just got to work on me and said, if, if you were in the same situation as he is, wouldn't you want to fulfill his request, or wouldn't you want him to fulfill your request?

And so I called him on the spot and said, yeah, I'll be there. 

 I was, I was bawling. I was dying. You know, I was like,  of course I'll be there. Of course I'll be there. You know? 

You know, it's interesting at Chainbreakers, which is where we met, um, recently, I think it was Pastor Terry that had mentioned the statistics.

 If a child,  comes to Christ, there's, uh, like a 60 percent chance that the rest of the family will follow. If the mom comes to Christ, there's only a 17 percent chance. that the rest of the family will follow.  But if the dad comes to Christ, there's over a 90 percent chance that the rest of the family will follow.

 And it sounds like in the situation you're describing, the dad came to Christ. It not only influenced his son, but even further than that, 

 i, as soon as I got out. 

My sister was the first person I called. I said,  You're not going to believe what happened today. And she's crying. 

Like, already. Like, we're on the phone like two minutes, and I'm just like, You're not even going to believe it. I'm like, this  And she's crying. I'm like, Why are you crying?

She's like, When I was at church today,  I prayed that God would hit you. And he would lay something on your heart. And he did.   📍 He talked about putting his dog down, which is like my biggest fear ever. I had a She's gone now. She's gone. And she was a, um,  all white, half boxer, half pitbull. And she was just this little innocent thing.

And I threw her through the ringer. She was just this cute thing. She was this lady dog, but she went with me everywhere. She's my roll dog. And so this pastor explained how dogs can sometimes be God's, an expression of God's tangible love right here. Where, like, I just experienced this with our, we have a new puppy now.

But  when you come home. And there's someone that's so excited to see you and knocking stuff over and scratching you and hit, you know, hit you in the chin and you know, and they're just that over the top abounding love. That's how God feels about us, you know, and it's just like to hear that was like, I'm in the right place.

  📍 ​

  📍 That was actually the first time I heard the devil

  📍 just do it one more time, man.

  📍 that could have been the dope deal that landed me in jail.

  📍 I just said, give me one more chance, and I just reached out.

  📍 ​

 I used to say, mom, what?  When people ask me what my religion is, what am I supposed to say? Just tell them you're Christian. Just tell them you're Christian. And I'm like, I didn't know what that meant, you know.

And I'd went to, I'd went to youth programs when I was younger just to probably get me out of the house and stuff like that. But no, I don't, I never, never thought about it like that. So when I did, and I thought about all this stuff, you know, like, I mean,  all the parties that I brought her to, the time that I left her outside.

And when I woke up in the morning after being drunk all night and she was outside and I'd open the door and she just walked in like about time buddy, you know, and then went to sleep for the rest of the day because she'd been outside waiting for me to let her in, you know, and like thinking a story after story after story that she'd been there for me and just like God's been there for me the whole time.

It's cool.  

Well, it's interesting you say that because we were talking before we started the interview here about how it's possible that we view. God as being similar to parents who have raised us and if the parents are strict or harsh God must be a strict and harsh Person and  it sounds like whatever ideas you had about who God was or what he was like  This was an introduction to the right way of thinking and you didn't even know you might have had the wrong way of thinking right Till then 

amen  

 And so after that, how quickly was it that you started to make changes, changes in your life, like the drinking and all that?

Drinking took a while. Drinking was the tough one. 

Overcoming Alcoholism

But, um, instantly I, cause I, I did have a, I did have a, 

I supplemented my income with selling a little bit of dope. 

And so instantly I told, I pretty much had like one or two guys that I worked with and I just told them.  And then that was actually the first time I heard the devil. 

Like, because the devil is sneaky. And so 

the first time I heard the devil is when I told this guy, 

cause I like literally that next week he wanted to get a bag and I said,  I said, sorry, buddy, I can't do it. And he, uh, I said, I'm, I'm, I'm, 

I'm done doing that. And he started crying.  I never heard this dude cry before.

He's like, come on, just do it one more time, man. 

 And I thought about it. I was this close because he cried.  And, uh,  I mean, when, and when I went, and that was the first time I, I don't know if I really knew it then or what. 

I'm getting goosebumps right now, 

but  he's like, almost had me. Um, and 

 that could have been the dope deal that landed me in jail.

Yeah.  

Or prison. Cause it would have been prison. I mean, for sure.  So anyways, dope dealing right away. Um, then, um, it was just heart change, right? Like. I'm a little bit more compassionate about this type of situation or I've always been a people person. 

 What did change for you with drinking that made you see it was a problem and also help you stop?  

You just know, right? Like, like, it was just the, okay, don't drink till the weekend.  And then you compromise and you're drinking on Wednesday. Like just those little things where  you're like,   but then it just became to a point where like weekends I'd be out of it.

I'll be, you know, I'd be just  flying high.   it didn't really become bad until like Sarah and I got married. And then as we got married and you know, maybe she wants to have kids. That's really when it was right. It's like,  yeah, that's exactly what it was. We were having trouble getting pregnant. And so we go in and the doctor is basically just saying, you guys, nothing's really wrong with you guys.

You just need to do it more.  So, uh,  so anyways,  She said, do you think it's the alcohol? And I said, I doubt it's the alcohol, but if we don't get pregnant, you know, by yada yada, I'll quit drinking. And so we didn't get pregnant. So I quit drinking. 

Yeah. 

 Two months after I quit drinking, we get pregnant. And I was like, well, that's what God wants.

That's what, you know,  that's what God wants. I'm quitting drinking, you know?  So I was good until we had Leo. And then about three to six months after we had Leo, I relapsed.  I went to a bachelor party. I came back and I felt terrible. And so I fessed up  and I came clean. I says, nobody's fault, but my own,   📍 And I already had Jesus in my life, I knew he was working on me. So, I, I just said, give me one more chance, and I just reached out.

I just started working on it. I went to some AA meetings. I found a really good group that I still attend right now. So, it's been, it'll be five years, um, God, God willing, 

July, it'll be five years since I've had a drink. One drink. 

That's awesome. Or excuse 

me, six years. July 24th, 2018 was the last time I had a drink.

So it'll be six years. 

  📍 ​

  📍 The most frustrating thing when somebody asks you for advice? They don't take it.

  📍 discipleship is not just a teaching relationship,

  📍 a dynamic relationship where you learn about that person's life, you become involved in it.

  📍 ​

 We had a story at Chainbreakers and Don asked me, he's never had, I don't think he's had anybody ever explained to him what blackout drunk is. And so reliving what blackout drunk was, I haven't thought about that in a long time. And so, you know,  the first six months you obsess over it.

And so think the fact that I can't, remember if it's five or six years,  it's just, 

Oh, thank you. Thank you, Jesus. All day. 

 Did you continue to go to the same church that you initially went to? 

 We started going to Eagle Brook. And so Eagle Brook, what I've found is they're so great for storytelling, which we, you know, Chain Breakers, we love what we're doing here. Yes. That's what really makes the connection, 

 How supportive has your church been? Because people often think of meetings that help you remain sober are outside of the church, like NAAA  and things like that.  But there are churches who do have supportive groups like that.

I'm curious what your experience was.  

Oh yeah. So church wasn't really, it wasn't really church. Like,  My relationship with Jesus, Chainbreakers, Don mentoring me was huge because, I should back up. 

When Sarah and I had gotten married, Don's been a mentor of mine for a long time. And um, when I, when I'd come to Jesus and I'd come to faith, I met Don. Don became a mentor. And Don, um, You know, you see a guy and you're like, there's no way, you know, he would call me and he tried, you know, we'd go get some food and, you know, we'd just hang out and you'd be like,  there's no way there's a dude that's really just trying to see guys do better because he's working with other guys too.

And you want to try to pick somebody like that apart. Like, no, there ain't nobody that's legit like this. And so, um, as him and I developed a relationship, um, and, and with his, him and his wife and then Sarah and us and like that, well, Sarah would go to him. 

 When I 

was acting up and so he had set me down a couple of times.

And so that had shown me that my marriage might be in jeopardy if I don't get help. 

 that's very interesting that you say that almost every single person that I have had on the show has expressed that discipleship or mentoring  was critical.

In, uh, them remaining stable, sober, and growing in their relationship with Christ and deepening their faith. 

Huge. 

And I remember also, I think it was Terry again, Pastor Terry, who had said that  

discipleship is not just a teaching relationship, 

one sided where I tell you what I know and you just absorb it, but that it's, um, 

a dynamic relationship where you learn about that person's life, you become involved in it.

And like you said, Dawn did, um, providing advice or maybe even some correction when necessary.  I had never heard it described almost like a sponsor. 

Yeah. 

 

Yes. Yes, so then going to have good advice that should be taken. 

Yeah, and, and you would find, right, because there's the, there's the two paths, right? And so if you go ask for advice, like what's the most frustrating thing when somebody asks you for advice? They don't take it.

Or it can be frustrating, right? Like, or you see them slip up because they didn't take your advice. So I would find where Don's advice, my own path.  It would always be better if I took Don's advice. So, or whoever, anybody that would, was it honoring God or was it not honoring God?  Every time I would choose that path, there'd be, there'd be some, some sort of blessing behind it or lesson, you know, that you would, you would learn because, you know, they're not always great, but you find the blessings even in the hard stuff.

Sounds like God was using Don and then reinforcing. 

Yeah. Yeah. So that was huge in, in the, in, in me getting sober too, for sure

Struggles with Alcohol and Family Dynamics

.  

I think about when you, you mentioned being married and still struggling through these things. Um,    📍 many wives out there are just thinking, Oh, I would want to  tell him about himself and get this straightened out.

Sounds, though, like your wife might have been very gentle. 

 She was very gentle. And it might not have worked out that way if she would have been, as Don would say, you know, nagging at me.  And  how do we navigate that, though? You know, it's, it's tough because,  like, even my sister's struggling really bad with alcohol, supposedly alcohol.

I think it's all kinds of other stuff. Not my, my younger sister. And you just want to slap them upside the head. 

  📍 ​

  📍  📍 I didn't have any respect for him.

  📍 The movie I can only imagine came out

  📍 Two weeks before he died, we had this crazy conversation.

I ​  📍 

  📍 So then  tell me about how you begin a relationship with your biological dad.  

Yeah. So,  um, BC before Christ, I, um,  Tried to, we tried to hang out and get to know each other a little bit better. He wanted to do a paternity test to verify, even though we were like twins,  , , but hey, I mean the proof's in the, the proof's in the DNA, right?

Yeah. So we met up for dinner, did the DNA test. So we went out to their house and  it was his drunken drunken night and everybody was there. We were having a good time.  I got into it with his wife.  And we left. And we drove home crap face that night. And, um, I didn't have any respect for him. Like, yeah, see? That's why I shouldn't have done it anyways. And,  you know, then  I found Jesus. Not too, I don't remember how long it was after that. You know, it was a few years, but  Then the movie I can only imagine came out   it was such a great movie and it just spurred my heart to call him  and so I called John and John was like, yeah, man, water under the bridge.  Like, let's get together. And then I found out that he'd found Jesus too.  He ended up finding Christ like at the same time I did.

So, I mean, how divine is that? 

 Yeah. 

And that we can come together, and then, I really believe, like you said, just kinda,  just love on him  as best as I know how, right? And then we also, now Sarah and I have two kids, and so, he can be a grandpa, and, You know, my, my stepdad, he passed away a couple of years ago, so that was tough.

But in that, because my dad liked to, he, he liked my stepdad, Mark, he liked to whine a lot that his kids never called him or came to see him. And so there just came God, it's like God knew and he just spread on my heart. You got to pursue this guy. So I called them. I said, Hey, we got to get together. And so before he passed, my kids got to hang out with them.

We went swimming. We had all sorts of fun. And we actually had.  Two weeks before he died, we had this crazy conversation. I know you asked about my biological dad, but two weeks before he died, I actually was called him on a Friday, random Friday. I drive 30 minutes into work and we talked the whole way into work.

 And it was just sweet. And, and, you know, trying to love on him towards the end of his life.   📍 So, but yeah, my biological father, we just, you know, we got together and we still get together. We had breakfast a couple, couple of weeks ago and with the whole fam. And now he's actually,  his wife  actually passed away. So then I had to walk with him through that.  And then now he's actually getting married again. 



  📍 ​

  📍 I want to be better tomorrow than I am today.

  📍 There's the enemies attacking at all angles

  📍 You are only going to be able to rely on Jesus. That's it. 

  📍 God got a hold of me And I want him to get a hold of you too

   📍 This is His story, and I want to glorify Him

  📍 Lord, we will do this for you.

  📍 ​ 

Personal Growth and Mentorship

For yourself being a father and a husband now, and I'm sure that you think about how to do that to the best of your ability and what does that look like, how much do you think what you've just described, your stepfather, your biological father, and how you saw them demonstrate those things, how much do you think that influences you now or informs your decision, or do you really just look to what you find in, in the Bible and kind of.

Scrap all that, you know? 

Yeah. I,  it's just getting in the word. It's loving, loving on them,  loving everybody, you know, I just, and, and get to know.  That's really,  it's just been pursuit. Everything's been a pursuit. 

Yeah. 

 

I want to be better tomorrow than I am today.  Tomorrow's not promised. So let's focus on today.

What next steps can we take today? 

 

Assume the best. 

Yeah. 

Assume the best. If you can always assume the best, it's a great mindset to have. Cause I think we all, I mean, I've really been a mindset changer.

Like don't be a negative Nancy. Try to think positive. 

 Do you mentor anybody now, like you've been mentored? 

 I do have a couple guys I'm working on, but I can only work on them as much as they want to be worked on too, right?

So, um, yeah, Don and I are going through a one on one discipleship right now, and I'm gonna propose that to Johnny.  But yeah, I mean it was cool too because him and I, cause Johnny, he's, he's drinking, he's, you know, dating these girls and he was just in this funk. And then all of a sudden he went to, went to church at Serenity Village and God hit him, connected with him.

And I saw the change and we got this other guy there at the gym that goes to a different church, but we know we got, we go there to encourage each other. Yeah. And, uh, so on occasional Sunday, I'll go to church with Johnny. And this one particular Sunday, Pastor Terry happened to be there. And so that was, you know, I felt like, man, God's just working.

 Gordy says it pretty well, you know, out of a hundred people, One of them is going to read the Bible and another 99 are going to read that person. 

Right?   I want to have you have a different mindset Don't  I mean I know it's tough what people are going through. I know that there's the enemies attacking at all angles health stuff, politics, you know, whatever, you know, whatever it is, just how can we just forget the nonsense and love each other?  

How do you feel that you've changed and what's your attitude towards everything you went through? 

 It's God changing me from the inside out and falling off those rough edges. And,  and then what was the second part of it? 

 What's your attitude towards everything that you went through? 

 Yeah, you know,  I just know it's been God's plan from the start.  This is His story, and I want to glorify Him and,  And, and let everybody know that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life.

And so the more, and the more confident I get in that,  cause I haven't been,  it's hard to build up the confidence because it's easily to get attacked. And then, you know, you're depending on how solid your foundation is. So my attitude towards my past is it did nothing but character building and, and know that  and it was, it wasn't bad, 

right?

It wasn't bad. It was good. So I, I don't.  I don't have any qualms. I think that it's going to help me.  I think that I have  not, I think God has the opportunity to do through me what he's doing through Don, right? And so it's like,  that's kind of what I'd like to do when he has these marriage retreats up at his cabin with like seven other couples.

And we dig into the word and we have someone who's kind of a facilitator and we, you know, go through these things that seem weird to some people,  but Hey, That's where the growth is and that's where the life is and that's where the strength is and then you know I remember one time  where we went to one of these things because we go to we go to one of these marriage building things You know Sarah and I are young couple Leo's a baby.

We go home and We're just like Leo. We're looking at Leo this little baby boy, and he just says I love you I don't know out of nowhere like the kid don't even talk and he says I love you and We looked at each other and we start crying and you know I was like, I just pray that one day we can have the opportunity to do this.

Like, Lord, we will do this for you. Now's not the time, but down the road, right? 

And 

so  if the pursuit could be, that's where, that's the goal, right? Is just try to help people and lead them in the right direction, because there's lots of ways that we can get sidetracked and, you know, sent down the wrong path.

 What other advice would you give someone who might be in your situation, doesn't have a good relationship with their, their dad or has never met their dad?

those things.  

Yeah, I mean  situations, right? Like I  stories of the kids that dad to pick them up and t to pick them up and you k or they're in their own a  with different families b  My stepdad went and after he divorced my mom and started another family. And so then there's resentment that grows through that.

So   you are only going to be able to rely on Jesus. That's it. He's going to be the one that's there for you when nobody else is. And so   I needed to tap into him to tap into them. You know what I mean? And then hopefully And not in a cocky way or a condescending way, but in a way where  God got a hold of me And I want him to get a hold of you too  I think it can be a pursuit or a waiting game because Us that the you hear stories about um Guys who don't have their kids in their life because they've the destruction that they've done with their addiction  They gotta wait. 

Don't be pushy.  It may happen. It may never happen And if we if you set an expectation that's gonna happen a B or C be careful with your expectations 

Yes,  

 I 

guess that's the main thing. You got to be careful with your expectations because a wise person told me expectations are premeditated resentments  so If you're expecting, if you're, if you're expecting this glorious outcome, you can't. 

 Thinking about what you're, you're saying with the expectations of, you can only manage That's strange.

Your actions, not their responses.  There was a Bible study I heard once it was on a DVD and this woman was saying, have you ever been in your car?  You've got GPS and it's telling you turn here, turn there and all of that.

And then all of a sudden it's silent for an extended period of time. So you check and I guess I'm just supposed to keep going straight. That's why it's silent. And you go another 10 miles and it's still silent. Now you're becoming agitated because you want the voice to tell you turn right, turn left and you look.

Nope, still go straight. And she said that's what the Holy Spirit can often be like for us is that if you aren't getting any hints. That something needs to change, just wait. Then that's, that's not wrong. And just rest in that. Um, she also said that you're either in one stage where it's God's turn to move or it's your turn to move.

And if you can't see any obvious path you should be taking or sin, you should be removing, then it's not your turn. It's God's turn.  And just wait for him to do that.  It sounds like in your story often.  You weren't certain how this would unfold, just that it needed to begin. 

 I would always say, yeah, when I have kids, I'll straighten out. I'll quit the party when I have kids. Yeah. Yeah. 

Were you surprised when you didn't though? I mean, not immediately that it took you.  

Just that battle. It's, there's still lies. You just, it's everything's, you know, anything that comes from that is these, these things that we battle it, they're just lies sometimes, you know, you just can't, can't listen to the, can't listen to the lies. 

Because yeah, it was  just think back, but I'm just like right now, like the straight high  on life.  It's been every day is amazing and a blessing. And that's why I just want to make sure I keep pursuing. And I'm, I'm in, like you said, maybe today's the day I just got to chill. And that's cool. I'm cool with that.

 I ain't got to have these stop provoking, but man, when I start my day with a good run and then I meet this guy at the gym who, whoo, let's go, you know what I mean? Let's go, you know, and hopefully I can encourage them and. And then, yeah, it's  just, I just want to try to be there for anybody who does want it, right?

Because I don't want to be pushy. 

Be available. 

Yeah.  

I think that's a good way to, and be approachable.  

Yeah.  I know for years I was not approachable. So 

me either, 

the 

famous science, the Seinfeld where, you know, George, he went, he, if he didn't want to be bothered,  just sit at his desk. You know, if anybody's coming,  you know, people leave them alone. So, you know,  I'm not going to go talk to him. 

 I want to thank you again for, for being here 

and 

sharing everything. 

 And, um, maybe we can have you back sometime and talk more. We'll see. You're a wonderful guest. Thank you. Yes, you are. 

Thank you for having me. 

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